A Shallow Wade of the Golden Globes
Not to be like “the Golden Globes happened,” but…the Golden Globes happened. I personally don’t care about the Golden Globes (#Brave), but I do care about Golden Globes Twitter.
I was positively glued to my phone screen Sunday night, taking in every award, every poorly made joke, every glimpse of Taylor Swift as I listened various podcasts about the first weekend of the NCAA Gymnastics Season. From watching clips, reading tweets, and talking to straight former coworkers, I’ve gathered together some highlights.
Joe Koy (Host) Sucked. I feel like it’s kinda old news at this point that hosting awards show is such an unwanted gig. Apparently the Globes couldn’t get anybody to do it, so they put up comedian Joe Koy, who apparently recently sold out Madison Square Garden (congrats?).
He made jokes at the expense of beloved movie Barbie and beloved capitalist Taylor Swift. He blamed his writers for his poor performance. He sucked the air out of the room. Nobody seemed to like it. And he didn’t even get punched.
I’m far from the only person who believes wholeheartedly in an overhaul of the entire Awards Industrial Complex, including efforts to make the voting body more representative of the population and the films being made, to give people their due when its due rather than giving consolation prizes later on, and to make hosts funny again. These shows used to be cultural touchstones. Now they come and go and some bitch writes about them on his gay ass newsletter. Make them matter. Make them appointment TV. Make them funny and entertaining and shocking (when need be). One giant part of that is getting a good host who can draw people in, captivate them, and produce iconic clips that people will share and talk about. The musical numbers opening non-Tony award shows got old after a minute, but they were effective. If done well (and not by Ariana Debose), they could really be the right move. Just my thoughts…
People being weird to Ayo Edebiri. People’s princess Ayo Edebiri has started to get her by flowers winning Best Actress - Television Series Musical or Comedy for her roll as Sydney in the Bear. [We’ll talk category fraud later]. If you’ve watched anything in the past like 16 months, you’re probably familiar with Ayo Edebiri. She is a true delight, a comic tour de force, and is equally talented in playing the grounded and complex Sydney in the Bear.
Throughout her time on the Bear, people have long commented on the on-screen chemistry between her and Jeremy Allen White (daddy). Mr. White has also been “popping off” as of late, most recently in a Calvin Klein ad that truly would’ve given 14 year old me carpal tunnel. Ayo, like all of her cast mates, was subjected to a million questions about Jeremy’s Calvin Klein ad throughout the Globes. Her responses were always incredible, simply reminding her interviewers that she and Jeremy are coworkers. It’s just so annoying that her interviews were taken up by questions about a hot guy she works with.
Selena Gomez. Miss Selena is a messy girl who lives for drama and it has happened again. She approached Taylor Swift and Miles Teller’s wife (sorry i can’t be bothered to google it) and said something that fans and online lip-readers have surmised to be the following:
This alone is gold because it soooo tracks. But Selener has spoken out on TikTok comments, which is where she gets most of best work done.
And now, Selena has taken her third break from social media in the past like three months. She truly is my favorite celebrity because who else gets so in the weeds with drama and then just like dips out like that? You can’t have it both ways, Selener.
Oh and another thing. I don’t doubt for one second that Kylie snubbed Selena. Neither of them are girls’ girls and when two non girls’ girls meet in the context of being around one of their bfs, shit goes down. It’s elementary.
Category Fraud. I feel like for years there’s been conversation around category fraud and it’s not new to say it, but there’s so much to talk about. It just feels like whenever a show is 30 minutes it gets billed as a comedy inexplicably. The Bear may not be the most high stakes drama out there, but a pure comedy it is not. I’d allow “dramedy” if they would use such a category, but here we are. It just feels so ridiculous for the Bear to be in the same category as something like Abbott Elementary, which is a pure comedy that has heart and deserves every award ever.
Then there’s the conversation about May December. I am personally of the opinion that it is a black comedy/satire. Yes, it’s verrrrry dark, but the movie is ultimately poking fun at and commenting on the very idea of making this kind of movie. That’s comedy. The music cues. Comedy. Julianne Moore’s line about hot dogs. Comedy. Natalie Portman doing an impression of Julianne Moore’s character, which seems an impression of Chloe Fineman’s Drew Barrymore impression. COMEDY.
Category Fraud is a tale as old as time and the streaming era doesn’t help things. Because shows will fully win awards as limited series and then go on to have two more seasons made (lookin’ at you Big Little Lies).
At a point, we have to remember that these awards are marketing campaigns and the voters are being bought out as much as politicians. Their constituents are studio execs. We’re in a dark space with awards shows, which is a shame considering the embarrassment of riches we have this year with films and tv, from innovative works to under-told stories to just good old fashion well-done, cleanly made storytelling. And of course, so many mothers….