Growing up in the 2000s meant going to the mall, wearing really ugly polos and striped cargo shorts, and listening to singers and bands who sounded like they were probably good enough in a church choir or community theater featured performance setting. To this day I’m haunted by the sounds of one Lumidee’s “Never Gonna Leave You” whose off-key “uh-ohs” can be heard all over the soundtracks of teen films around the Mean Girls boom.
But whereas Lumidee’s inability to pick a key is endearing yet grating all at once, there are some songs that I keep in my back pocket for a bad day. Songs whose bands are widely unknown to the general public. These aren’t one-hit wonders per se, as I’m sure that the bands behind these Billboard Bubbling Under 100 bangers have had other successes. Yet still, these groups are known for approximately one song and one song only. So I’d like to take you on a musical journey through my favorite, “damn, remember that song?” hits from 2000-2010 (ordered by year).
Breathless—The Corrs (2000)
Go on! Leave me motherfucking breathless. Just pure pop joy. An absolute highway jam.
Wherever You Will Go—The Calling (2001)
This song is really an iconic “I’m your high school boyfriend and I will always love you” bop. Very much local but in an endearing sense. Side note: I want to point out that there’s an incredibly devastating piano cover of this that would probably physically hurt to listen to in 2021, but still.
Jerk it Out—Caesars (2002)
This is the original Cake By The Ocean in that these lyrics are so horny but don’t really make a whole lot of sense. I’m sure a bad translation software was involved in this but holy shit did I know what it meant and did that make me feel some type of way.
Us Against the World—Play (2002)
This is my favorite bubblegum pop song of all time. Perhaps even my favorite girl group song too (Lady Marmalade notwithstanding). If you haven’t heard this, I urge you to listen now.
Heaven—DJ Sammy, D/O (2002)
Imagine doing a bump of coke or, better yet, a bump of Baby Bottle Pop. That’s what this sounds like.
One Thing—Finger Eleven (2003)
I think if this song came out when I was a moody 15 year old I would’ve cried to it in the shower. As it stands, it was still a great song to listen to driving back from your sister’s diving practice that you had to go to and watch because your mom didn’t believe in driving to school and back just to go up again a couple hours later, read a book.
Ocean Avenue—Yellowcard (2003)
This one isn’t unknown by any means and I’m aware that this band has other songs but I’ve never not once heard them. This song is so fucking singular…
Move Ya Body—Nina Sky, Jabba (2004)
This one makes me shake my lil booty so much. And what ever happened to Nina Sky??? I hope she’s okay.
On the Way Down—Ryan Cabrera (2004)
This is another one that made me feel some type of way. I miss the days when you could just be a moody guy with a guitar and be on the radio. And this man is just so 2004 dreamy…
Just the Girl—Click Five (2005)
Yeah this made me feel straight. I miss very radio-friendly punk.
Temperature—Sean Paul (2005)
Get on the motherfuckin dance floor for this. Like I don’t think one song makes me move my body (callback) more than this unimpeachable banger. Side note: is this the song that made Chet Hanks into Chet Hanks?
Crazy—Gnarls Barkley (2006)
Everybody knows Cee-Lo (I guess), but this song is just something else. Right? This song goes the fuck off and it has no reason to. But remember hearing this for the first time? Damn.
Untouched—The Veronicas (2007)
Does everyone else think about the Veronicas’ brief cameo on the Suite Life of Zack & Cody? Just me? Well if you can’t live off of that memory, you can at least have this absolute inappropriate-for-a-ten-year-old bop. I mean this song was the perfect backdrop for everyone else coming to terms with my sexuality before I did and like *almost* saying stuff about it to me. Definitely a song that brings me back!
He Said She Said—Ashley Tisdale (2007)
This is the only original song of Ashley Tisdale that matters. The music engineers on this didn’t have to do what they did and they did that for us.
Bleeding Love—Leona Lewis (2007)
This song is the absolute moment. Do you remember hearing this for the first time? Maybe with your Mom in the car. And then it was like your song where you would both belt and now when you hear it it gives you that funny little feeling? But where has this girl been? Is she the queen of the modern day one hit wonder? She would be…except…
Better in Time—Leona Lewis (2007)
Except she also did this absolute freaking banger that just makes me want to stare out a window and cry in a really good way. We have no choice but to stan.
Sexy Can I—Ray J. (2008)
Ooooh boy howdy does this song go absolutely off. It’s maybe a bit corny but like I love it. I’m sure this song absolutely goes off at a wedding, as well it should. But other than his sex tape, what’s he been up to???
Good Girls Go Bad—Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester (2009)
Put this on right now. THIS SONG SLAPS SO HARD. And the little hint of Leighton Meester? Truly iconic. She needs to sing more. And act more. And do more. Maybe she and Cobra Starship could do a reunion tour with just this song?
Like a G6—Far East Movement (2010)
This song is by no means good in today’s standards but back then it did what it had to do. Also it sure does transport me to eight grade like nobody’s business. Maybe that has to do with the Latin project I did that incorporated a parody of the song…maybe. Maybe.
Pretty Girl Rock—Kerri Hilson (2010)
Kerri may or may not believe that 5G is a Big Problem but this song is so fucking iconic that I don’t care one bit. This is really one of the best pop songs to grace the charts in the entire decade and it remains an unimpeachable hot girl anthem.
Here’s the playlist if you’re interested!
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A farewell
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I love you (allegedly).
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